I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
