I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
