great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
