Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
