So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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