Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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