I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
