Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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