people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
