She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
