Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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