HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
