Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
