they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
