We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
