so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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