then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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