You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
