um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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