You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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