Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
