porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there is glitter all over my balls
PANTIES FOUND
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