I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sex in the backyard? Check.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
