Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
