apparently the secret to your success is patron
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
