so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
