I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
