So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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