I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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