No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize
