i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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