? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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