they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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