I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
