Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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