you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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