wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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