I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
