If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
