Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
