and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That accounts for only three of the penises
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
