If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
