I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
