Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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