I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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