508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
