So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
