Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
