Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
