I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
