and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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